Lets look into the mirror, for mirror always presents all the things in true colours. There is hardly anyone who is living a life of his own. People seem to appear someone who they never were. We may to look at the mirror of thoughts, opinions, conscience etc but it is also dangerous when we ignore the imperfections mirror throws at us. We have an imagined prism within our eyes and the mirror. This prism allows us to see only things that make us feel good, proud, and ecstatic about our self. Besides, we ignore all other mirrors around us in our society which tend to be auto reflective for our thoughts, opinions and our real self. All this is orchestrated because there is no urgency to get upset while facing off the utter reality. Few days before, I decided to reflect on my real self. What I found, I am certain all of us will identify with me, was different from the reality.
I am presenting my own original self, you might see your reflection as well here:-
I confess to be a hypocrite today, though most of us are. We are hypocrites inclusively in form of societies, families as well. Hypocrisy is a floated when in my family, I tell my children to not lie, but at the same time I tell them to say Dad is not at home right now when someone rings me. I tell my children to always obey the law but I fail to abide by laws every time. I advice my children to never cheat yet I can do anything to raise their grade point. I tell my children to respect every person, yet I scream and shout at my servant. I tell my children to treat everyone equally but I dont serve food to beggars in same plates in which I myself have lunch and dinner. I dont give them equal space as I have occupied. I tell my children to be proud of whatever we are, but I blame Allah for whatever I am not. I tell them to not throw garbage on the streets, yet I throw out everything from cigarette butts to plastic bags out of my cars window. I advice them not to smoke for smoking will kill them but I do puff heavily when they are not around.
I tell them to have a good tongue, but I spew venom and abuse in front of them. I tell my sons to respect their sisters but I have become a nightmare for my own wife. I never truly respect this creature at all.
I tell my children not to pelt stones at police when first stone that hits a policeman is mine. I tell them that freedom is our birth right yet I choke down the currents of Jhelum and Dal. I tell infuse nationality in them yet I dont allow them to be national. I fear that these may be tagged as anti national and traitors.
I condemn India for all my misfortunes. Yet I want to own an apartment in Delhi, buy their products and am addicted to Bollywood. I read their newspapers and stand in queue to get subsidies.
I drive rash and break the red traffic signal wherever I think I can do in absence of a policeman. I give sermons to my co workers and friends on stealing and morality, when I dont practice what I preach. I find it too mainstream to preach and practice the same ideology. I backstab and gossip behind the back of people but I have learnt to complain when they measure me by same scale. I dont respect other peoples belongings yet I want them to respect mine. I never acknowledged the favors people have for me, yet I denied favoring people anymore because they never acknowledged for it. I always complain about low wages and low salaries but I bargain with daily wager from dawn to dusk. I cried about incompetence of others but I will never admit that I make mistakes myself too.
I talk about merit, but use references, back channels and bribes where ever I can. I talk about equality but I cant stand in a queue. I talk about child labor but at home I employ children. I am a hypocrite round and again. I am not going to veil it within me. I confess that yes I am a hypocrite but I want to change myself.
I wrote this column while sitting before the mirror. I looked at myself and I was astonished to know my other side as well. Now I had convinced myself to set for the change. I want to do away with the mask; I am putting on before every public or social interface. I dont want to masquerade anymore; I want to live as the individual as I am. I want to live with my original dignified traits. I will spurn all that that make me hypocrite.
Yet I cant do it alone. The whole society has become so hypocritical and pessimist that functioning seems to be the easiest casualty. But I know it is difficult but not impossible. I am hypocrite but I am going to change.
Imbisat Makhdoomi
Student (IInd year engineering)
Anantnag, Kashmir
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