Distinctive Care and Attention Imperative for Older Parents

By Mohammad Hanief

Elders desire a life with good health, dignity, economic independence and finally a peaceful death. They long for care, love and affection. Understanding their needs and concerns, will ensure their good health. Lending an emotional support to the elders keep them jovial, which is inevitably the ideal way to live a healthy life. However, for many people, providing care and attention to elders is not possible due to work priorities.

Elders suffering from cognitive challenges’ undergo serious personality changes; at this point they need care and attention. When they are left unattended, most of them are gripped with overwhelming feelings of dejection, purposelessness; some of them even turn violent. Regardless of the fact that many of us know that aging is a natural progression and it has its own shortcoming, most of us tend to ignore this and resort to an unruly approach.

Old age is a sensitive phase; elderly people need care and comfort to lead a healthy life without worries and anxiety. Lack of awareness regarding the changing behavioral patterns in elderly people at home leads to abuse of them by their kin.

Birth, childhood, adolescence, adulthood and old age are the most crucial stages in a man’s life. All these stages have their very own issues and troubles. As each level passes the physical strength deteriorates as well as the mental stability lessens. It is believed there are over 80 million older folks in India. Since age progresses, various medical issues happen, some of the particular known diseases usually are blood pressure, diabetes, heart failure issues, arthritis, cancer malignancy, joint pains, tuberculosis, as well as kidney infections.

It’s just not disease that affects old age; there are various other issues that govern the downfall of the health of the old people. One of the main issues is the negligence from the younger generation. Old people need supervision, the laxity to understand the needs and worries of elders make them appear strangers to the younger generation, who later regard them as a burden.

Old people are subject to abuse from family members over property dispute, some of them are even forced to sell their belongings and live in penury till death. Many of them are too scared to express themselves or fear being humiliated by their loved ones.

Taking care of elderly parents is a season many of us will walk through. Everyone who begins that journey has many questions. Perhaps you’re an only child, and the responsibility of taking care of your elderly parents is yours alone. Maybe there are only a few options available for additional help due to location and affordability. You may have had a challenging relationship with your parents growing up or had a great relationship and now find it difficult to see them in this state. Though every person’s scenario will look different, elder care is achievable with the right resources.

For many, the responsibility of caring for aging parents can be daunting. Over the years, everyone will transition from being dependent on parents to being adult friends to being a caretaker for parents’ physical and emotional needs. Eldercare is an unfamiliar season of life for both adult children and parents.

Sometimes medical diagnoses are unforeseeable and we deal with things as they come up. However, making a plan with your aging parent about long-term care allows you to create a rough draft that satisfies everyone involved. 

Neglecting to involve aging parents in decisions about their care is a significant oversight that can undermine their autonomy, dignity, and overall well-being. This mistake often arises from well-meaning intentions to protect or oversee their welfare, but it can have detrimental effects on their sense of agency and quality of life.

Involving aging parents in decisions about their care respects their fundamental right to self-determination. As individuals age, they may experience physical and cognitive changes that require adjustments in their daily routines, medical treatments, or living arrangements. Consulting them on these matters ensures that their preferences, values, and concerns are considered, promoting a sense of control over their lives. Exclusion from decision-making can lead to feelings of helplessness, frustration, or resentment in aging parents. They may perceive decisions made on their behalf as paternalistic or dismissive of their insights and desires. This can strain relationships and erode trust between caregivers and parents, complicating future interactions and cooperation.

Involving aging parents in decisions fosters transparency and mutual understanding. It encourages open communication about their health status, treatment options, and long-term care plans. This shared information enables aging parents to make informed choices aligned with their goals and values, enhancing their satisfaction with the care they receive. Excluding aging parents from decision-making overlooks their unique perspectives and life experiences. They possess valuable insights into their own preferences, habits, and routines accumulated over a lifetime. Ignoring these insights may result in care plans that are impractical, uncomfortable, or incompatible with their lifestyles, diminishing their overall quality of life.

Failing to seek professional guidance and support while taking care of aging parents can be a critical mistake that caregivers often overlook. This error can stem from various factors, including misconceptions about caregiving responsibilities, reluctance to admit limitations, or underestimation of the complexities involved in elder care. Caregiving for aging parents often begins with good intentions and a sense of familial duty. Many adult children take on caregiving roles without prior experience or training, assuming they can manage their parents’ needs effectively on their own. However, the reality of caregiving can quickly become overwhelming, especially as parents’ health declines or complex medical conditions arise.

Neglecting effective communication with other family members or siblings regarding the care of aging parents can indeed lead to misunderstandings, conflicts, and ultimately, challenges in providing the best possible care. Clear and open communication is crucial in navigating the complexities of caregiving responsibilities, ensuring equitable distribution of tasks, and fostering a supportive environment for both aging parents and caregivers alike.

One of the primary consequences of poor communication among family members is the emergence of misunderstandings regarding the needs and preferences of aging parents. Each family member may have their own perspective on what constitutes appropriate care, leading to disagreements about medical decisions, living arrangements, financial management, and overall caregiving approaches. Without effective communication, these differing opinions can escalate into conflicts, hindering collaborative decision-making and potentially compromising the well-being of aging parents.

The societal expectations and cultural norms surrounding caregiving can also contribute to caregivers neglecting their own well-being. There is often an unspoken expectation that caregivers should prioritize the needs of their parents above all else, sometimes at the expense of their own physical and mental health. This pressure can lead caregivers to feel guilty or ashamed if they consider their own needs or seek support from others.

• The author can be mailed at [email protected] – X (Twitter): @haniefmha

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