Srinagar- In a snug living room, adorned with lace curtains, Atiqa Begum sits in one corner, her legs draped by a quilt. A gas heater, positioned at the center, exhales comforting warmth that counters the crisp chill seeping through the windowpanes. Surrounded by family, the room is filled with the murmur of distant conversations — not among the family members sharing the space, but emanating from the digital devices held by each one.
Amid the quiet tapping of fingers on phone screens, Atiqa’s eyes wander from one family member to another, a subtle longing in her gaze. Atiqa, who is in her early 80s, remains a silent observer – a poignant silence echoing the unspoken reality of a generation experiencing a unique form of isolation, one that exists amidst the company of loved ones.
“I feel a bit lost, even when everyone’s around. I miss the days when we would talk face to face, share stories, and feel the closeness. It’s not the same, just being in the same room but lost in devices.” Atiqa said.
“I don’t know how am I supposed to pass my time. Ever since he left, I feel lonely,” she added, while looking at the picture of her late husband that hung prominently on a wall.
As social interactions have increasingly migrated to virtual spaces, older individuals may feel left behind, struggling to navigate a realm that seems foreign and impersonal. The prevalence of social media, video calls, and online platforms becomes a stark reminder of a technological and generational gap prevalent in our society.
Studies define loneliness as the emotional state or subjective experience of feeling isolated, disconnected, or lacking meaningful social connections. A report from the National Academies of Sciences, Engineering, and Medicine (NASEM) points out that more than one-third of adults aged 45 and older feel lonely, and nearly one-fourth of adults aged 65 and older are considered to be socially isolated. Older adults are at increased risk for loneliness and social isolation because they are more likely to face factors such as living alone, the loss of family or friends, chronic illness, and hearing loss.
In Kashmir, there is a saying, “bed’eh te shur gow hyuwuy,” which suggests that there are similarities in the needs and care required for both young children and elderly individuals. In a broad sense, it emphasizes the vulnerability and dependence that can be present in both groups. But when it comes to reality, there may be disparities in how society treats older individuals.
A recent study published in the Indian Journal of Psychiatry, examining the prevalence of loneliness among India’s elderly population, revealed that Jammu and Kashmir had the highest prevalence of loneliness among the elderly. Another research titled, “Marginalized and Alienated Elderly of Kashmir: Contesting Their ‘space’ in the Family and Society,” found that the recent advancements within the society and the lack of preparedness to deal with the subsequent challenges have further marginalized and alienated the elderly in and outside the family setting.
Sociologist Dr Farah Qayoom also feels that there has been a shift in societal attitudes towards aging and older adults. “In present times, families have become more isolated and this has a direct impact on the elderly. With every other member of the family well equipped with technology, the elderly feel isolated and irrelevant. This impacts their relationship with children and grandchildren and their psychosocial well being as well,” Dr Farah said.
The Interplay of Health and Isolation
In south Kashmir’s Kulgam, 87-year-old Rehman Sofi (name changed) often hints at his health concerns, dropping fragmented comments about aches, fatigue, and his eye-sight. He attempts to communicate the intricacies of his well being, seeking acknowledgment and understanding from his family. However, his words often fall on deaf ears as “the family members dismiss these repetitions as mere quirks of age,” Sofi said.
“Mya kya shokh chuma (which roughly translates to ‘I don’t do this for fun’),” Sofi said, adding, Sometimes I feel like I am a burden. It is not that they don’t care for me, but the sense of belonging is lost.”
Sofi said that the decline in his health has exacerbated his sense of isolation, and conversely, his isolation has played a role in the deterioration of his health. “It’s a cyclical situation,” he said.
The World Health Organisation (WHO) has recognized loneliness as a pressing health threat, with serious consequences for the health and mental well-being of the elderly and young people worldwide. A study published in the Journal of the American Medical Association Psychiatry revealed that loneliness is associated with early Alzheimer’s disease.
Healthcare practitioners in Kashmir also say that social isolation and loneliness have a serious impact on older people’s longevity, their physical and mental health, and their quality of life.
Dr Zubair Saleem, senior Geriatric Consultant and Gerontologist, said that social isolation has been associated with a weakened immune response in seniors, making them more susceptible to illnesses.
“Seniors who experience social isolation may be at higher risk for various health issues, including diabetes, obesity, and cardiovascular problems. Loneliness can diminish overall life satisfaction and lead to a sense of purposelessness,” Dr Zubair said.
“Physical ailments or chronic conditions can limit seniors’ mobility, making it challenging to engage in social activities. Issues like arthritis or balance problems can restrict seniors’ ability to go out, affecting their social interactions. Besides, death of spouses or close relatives can lead to social withdrawal,” Dr Zubair said, adding that shifting away from familiar surroundings and communities can sever social connections, contributing to isolation.
Stressing on the need of intergenerational bonding by connecting seniors with younger generations through open communication, the geriatrician said, “Teaching seniors to use technology can facilitate virtual connections with friends and family, especially if in-person interactions are limited.”
According to Dr Zubair, one of the most significant factors contributing to social isolation among seniors in Kashmir is neglect and abandonment by their adult children. “It is crucial to emphasize the importance of respecting and caring for parents. Involving them in decision-making at home, facilitating their social commitments, and addressing them with utmost respect and care are essential steps towards fostering meaningful connections and preventing social isolation among the elderly.”
“Elderly people can suffer from emptiness syndrome, which is associated with feelings of loss, sadness, anxiety, grief, irritability, and fear. It impacts both men and women. However, mothers are susceptible to this as they have dedicated precious years of their lives bringing up their children,” Dr Umer Jan, a Neuropsychiatrist said.
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