By Arshid Qalmi
It’s heart-breaking to witness how societal rigidity and mental stagnation still pervade our schools, families, and public discourse. Across communities, we see how judgmental attitudes, prejudice, and jealousy quietly grow, not as isolated flaws, but as inevitable outcomes of deeper psychological and social constructions. Narrow-mindedness, fixed mind-sets, and inherited societal norms are the invisible chains that hold back not only individuals but also the progress of Kashmir.
Narrow-mindedness is not merely a lack of exposure to diversity; it is a conditioned resistance to it. In our schools, for example, students are too often discouraged from asking uncomfortable questions. In households, conformity is sometimes mistaken for respect. And in social circles, someone who dares to think differently is easily branded as rebellious. Such rigidity leaves little space for nuance or empathy and reinforces the tendency to judge others quickly, often harshly.
Closely tied to this is the fixed mind-set, the belief that intelligence, morality, or social value is fixed and unchangeable. This mind-set leads to a poisonous comparison culture where the success of others feels like a threat. If a student excels, jealousy brews instead of inspiration. If a peer breaks out of traditional moulds, gossip follows. Our youth, especially, suffer under this weight. Instead of being encouraged to grow, evolve, or fail gracefully, they are conditioned to measure their worth against societal expectations and the achievements of others.
Reinforcing these tendencies are deeply ingrained social constructs. In many parts of Kashmir, one’s value is still measured by outdated metrics: grades, family reputation, government jobs, material wealth. Girls and boys are assigned roles that leave little room for individuality. Mental health is often dismissed as weakness, and non-conformity is stigmatized. These constructions create an atmosphere where jealousy festers, not because people are inherently envious, but because they are taught to view life as a zero-sum game.
Jealousy, in such a context, becomes almost inevitable. It stems not from greed but from a sense of inadequacy, shaped by constant comparison and societal pressure. In school staffrooms, between relatives, or even on social media, one can feel the subtle undercurrents of competition and resentment. Success becomes a source of isolation instead of joy. Authentic relationships are sacrificed for appearances.
This is a dangerous pattern. When judgment replaces dialogue, prejudice replaces curiosity, and jealousy replaces self-reflection, we begin to lose our sense of community. We stop listening to each other. We stop growing.
But this can change. It must. The way forward is through a cultural and psychological shift, one that begins with our classrooms, our homes, and our policy spaces. Teachers must be trained not just in curriculum delivery but in emotional intelligence. Parents must be encouraged to nurture individuality instead of comparison. And our education policies must move beyond grades and marks to include well-being, critical thinking, and intercultural awareness.
We must ask ourselves: Are we raising children to think or to obey? Are we encouraging our peers to grow or to conform? Do we celebrate success or silently resent it?
In the end, the most radical and healing act in our time may be to remain open-minded, to allow ourselves and others to evolve, and to view difference not as danger but as depth. Kashmir has long been a land of poetry, mysticism, and reflection. Let us not allow our social rigidities to strangle its intellectual and emotional future.
Let educators reflect. Let parents introspect. Let students dare to dream beyond the boxes society hands them. Only then can we dismantle the mind’s cage and create a society where compassion outshines comparison, and where every individual is free to bloom.
– The author can be mailed at aqalmi303@gmail.com. Views expressed in this article are author’s own and don’t necessarily reflect KO’s editorial policy.
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