I Was Real When I Was a Kid

By Arshid Qalmi 

Childhood is often remembered as a time when life was pure, when emotions flowed naturally, and when we felt deeply connected to our surroundings. It was a period of unfiltered joy, genuine self-expression, and boundless imagination. For many, childhood represents the truest version of who they were, a time when authenticity wasn’t a conscious pursuit but an effortless state of being. The sentiment, “When I was a kid, I was real,” resonates with a universal longing for a simpler, more genuine existence. It encapsulates the idea that childhood is not just a stage in life but a template for how life could be lived, where authenticity, curiosity, and vulnerability are celebrated rather than suppressed.

As children, we existed without the burden of societal expectations. Our emotions, actions, and thoughts were raw and genuine, unshaped by the need to fit into predefined moulds. When we were happy, we laughed with abandon, the kind of laughter that bubbles up from the soul and echoes through the air, unrestrained and pure. When we were sad, we cried openly, seeking comfort without hesitation or shame. Anger, excitement, fear, every emotion was expressed without filter, without second-guessing, and without the internalized voices telling us what was “appropriate.” There was no pretence, no façade, no calculated effort to present ourselves in a particular way. We simply were.

This authenticity extended beyond emotions. As children, our imaginations knew no bounds. The world was a canvas, and we painted it with our dreams and fantasies. We could be explorers of uncharted lands, rulers of imaginary kingdoms, or superheroes capable of anything. A cardboard box was not just an object; it could be a spaceship, a castle, or a secret hideout. The boundaries between reality and imagination blurred seamlessly, and in those moments, we were creators, not constrained by logic or practicality. Every day was an adventure filled with curiosity and wonder, and we approached life with an openness that allowed us to see magic in the mundane. We were real in the truest sense of the word alive, present, and fully engaged with life as it unfolded.

But as we grow older, the innocence and authenticity of childhood begin to fade. Life introduces complexities, and society imposes its rules and expectations. We are taught to conform, to fit into certain roles, and to meet specific standards. Slowly, we begin to wear masks to navigate the world. These masks may help us gain acceptance, protect us from judgment, or allow us to fulfil responsibilities, but they come at a cost. The cost is often our truest self, the part of us that remains untouched by societal conditioning.

The pressures to conform begin early, often during adolescence, when the need to be accepted by peers becomes paramount. We learn to suppress certain parts of ourselves to fit in, to avoid standing out, or to escape criticism. We start tailoring our words and actions to align with what is expected rather than what is genuine. Over time, this suppression becomes second nature. We stop questioning whether the life we are living aligns with our inner desires and values. Instead, we focus on meeting external expectations, whether they come from family, friends, work, or society at large. The spontaneity that once defined us is replaced by caution. The curiosity that drove us is overshadowed by practicality. And the freedom to express ourselves is often stifled by fear, fear of failure, fear of rejection, fear of judgment.

Adulthood brings its own set of challenges. Responsibilities, career ambitions, and societal pressures leave little room for introspection. In the race to succeed, we often lose sight of who we are at our core. The authentic self, which thrived in the simplicity of childhood, becomes buried under layers of compromise and obligation. We begin to live not as we are, but as we think we should be. And yet, amidst all of this, there remains a part of us, a quiet, persistent voice that yearns to return to the authenticity of our childhood.

The realization that “When I was a kid, I was real” is not just a nostalgic reflection but a powerful invitation to reclaim what was lost. It challenges us to reconnect with the child within the part of us that remains untouched by external influences. While we cannot return to the innocence of childhood, we can strive to integrate its essence into our adult lives. Reclaiming authenticity begins with vulnerability. As children, we didn’t fear rejection or criticism; we expressed our thoughts and feelings openly, trusting that they would be received with understanding. Practicing vulnerability as adults means being honest about who we are, even when it feels uncomfortable. It means allowing ourselves to be seen, imperfections and all, and embracing the courage to show up as our true selves.

Another path back to authenticity lies in rekindling our creativity and curiosity. Childhood was a time of unbounded imagination, where we created without fear of judgment. As adults, we can nurture this creativity by exploring new interests, rediscovering forgotten passions, or simply allowing ourselves to dream without constraints. Engaging with creativity helps us reconnect with the joy of self-expression and the freedom to think beyond the limits imposed by practicality or convention.

Living in the moment, a natural state for children, is another key to authenticity. Children possess an unparalleled ability to immerse themselves fully in the present, whether they are playing, exploring, or simply observing the world around them. As adults, practicing mindfulness can help us recapture this sense of presence. By focusing on the here and now, we can quiet the noise of societal expectations and tune into our inner selves.

Reclaiming authenticity also requires letting go of the masks we wear to please others. This is perhaps the hardest step, as these masks often feel like a protective shield. Yet, the act of removing them allows us to reconnect with our core values and live in alignment with our true selves. It involves embracing our uniqueness and understanding that we do not need to conform to be worthy of acceptance or love.

In a world that often prioritizes superficiality and conformity, the importance of being real cannot be overstated. Childhood provides a glimpse into what it means to live authentically, to express ourselves freely, and to approach life with wonder and openness. While the journey into adulthood may distance us from these qualities, it is never too late to reclaim them. By embracing vulnerability, nurturing creativity, living in the moment, and letting go of societal masks, we can reconnect with the most genuine version of ourselves.

When we choose to be real, we honour not only the child we once were but also the person we have the potential to become. Authenticity is not just about returning to who we were in childhood; it is about integrating the essence of that innocence and openness into the complexity of adult life. The greatest gift we can give ourselves and the world is our true, unfiltered selves. In being real, we find fulfilment, meaning, and the freedom to live as we were always meant to be. After all, the journey to authenticity is not about becoming something new but rediscovering who we have always been at our core.

• The author can be reached at [email protected] 

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