The Radical Act of Rest: Kashmiri Women, Roles, and Resistance

By Sabzara Ali

In a world where women are constantly expected to do it all, have you ever wondered what happens when they just stop and take a breath? What if the most radical act of resistance isn’t in the struggle but in the stillness? What if real rebellion happens when women take some moments for themselves without any responsibilities or roles?

Gendered Dichotomy

Throughout history, leisure for men and women has been greatly influenced by gender roles which result in different experiences altogether. Men, often considered tough and adventurous, tend to pursue leisure activities away from home – for example playing sports or engaging in heated political debates.Women, on the other hand, are often viewed as nurturing, private, and inclined to stay within the home. Their “leisure” is typically woven into their responsibilities, like caring for the family or keeping the household running smoothly.

Historically, there isn’t much separation between work and relaxation in the lives of women. Their roles blur the lines between labor and leisure, making those quiet moments of rest feel like a rare luxury. 

For men, who work outside the home, work and leisure are clearly separated. Of course, economic status influences how people spend their free time but regardless of wealth, men still find ways to carve out time for themselves. For the affluent, it might be a drive or a hobby; for others, it could be as simple as gathering at a local stall for a chat.

The Unequal Landscape of Leisure

Leisure is when you can just be yourself without worry about your work or anything else that obliges you. Unfortunately, for many women, such as those in rural India, spare time is something they do not have enough of. 

The Time-Use Survey 2019-20 for India states that young working women in rural areas spent almost five hours daily on domestic tasks while urban counterparts spent about two hours forty-five minutes each day.

Thus, for many women, leisure isn’t a scheduled break; it’s something snatched in between daily responsibilities. It might be listening to the radio while cooking or chatting with a friend on the way to work. But for the women of Kashmir, leisure is about more than just choosing how to spend their time. It’s about navigating a complex web of societal norms, restrictions, and the shadow of conflict that constantly defines the limits of their freedom.

The Confining Norms and Invisible Boundaries

The majority of Kashmiri women live by traditional societal norms that limit them to being caregivers and housewives. With this, they hardly get any time to pursue interests or recreations of their choice. Most public spaces in Kashmir are male dominated, and women’s participation in leisure is largely confined to their homes. A survey conducted by students of Lady Shri Ram College revealed that most women in Jammu and Kashmir engage in leisure activities like reading, writing, and painting, all within the safety of their homes. Only a small number of respondents participated in sports, and even then, these activities often came to an abrupt end due to reasons such as harassment or the necessity of being accompanied by a male family member.For instance, one of the respondents spoke of how she had to leave sports because of continuous groping in public transport while another explained that going out in Kashmir often required a series of lies, as she was frequently made to stay at home under the guise of safety concerns.

The conflict in the region has only exacerbated this situation, creating both physical and psychological barriers that restrict women’s movement and make the idea of leisure fraught with anxiety. Patriarchal norms further limit their freedom, dictating which forms of leisure are acceptable, often tying them to domestic and societal activities. This leaves very little time for a woman to relax, be creative, or express herself authentically, further marginalizing her and thus denying her the liberative power of leisure.

Sufi Shrines: Sanctuaries of Solace and Sisterhood for Kashmiri Women

The visit to a Sufi shrine is one of the very few occasions when an elderly woman of Kashmir gets to leave her house and break the tedium of routine. She finds a rare escape in the peaceful courtyards of these shrines. These sacred spaces, deeply woven into the spiritual fabric of Kashmiri life, represent much more than just a place to pray. They are sanctuaries where women come together to breathe, to connect, and to rejuvenate.

Unlike mosques, which are predominantly male spaces, these shrines provide women with a socially acceptable public space where they can gather, socialize, and form emotional and devotional relationships with the saints. Here, they can personalize the relationship with the saints and whisper all their troubles to them, finding solace in the company of people who share similar burdens. Here, it is not very uncommon to find a group of women sitting together in the shade of a tree, sharing their stories, and drawing strength from one another’s stories.

These visits are not just about tradition or seeking blessings. They are about reclaiming a bit of themselves—a space to laugh, cry, and be without the weight of household duties pressing down on them. For many women, these shrines are places where they feel truly at peace—where the noise of everyday life fades, and they shift their focus to spiritual growth and healing. In a world that offers so few spaces for leisure, these shrines become a vital refuge, a place where they can finally exhale and let their souls rest.

Leisure Through a Feminist Lens: Reclaiming Identity and Crafting New Narratives

Leisure, often seen as a simple escape from daily responsibilities, holds a deeper, more transformative potential when viewed through a feminist lens. It’s not just about taking a break; it is about reclaiming both time and space for self-discovery and self-expression. For most women, leisure is a powerful act of resistance against societal norms that expect them to behave in a certain way or hold specific roles.

One inspiring perspective comes from Surabhi Yadav, the founder of the NGO Sanjhe Sapne. Through her work, Surabhi explores how leisure can be a radical tool for women to redefine themselves beyond the traditional roles of mother, wife, or daughter. Her photo project, Basanti: Women at Leisure, was inspired by observing the often-hidden playful side of her mother and women around her.  The project captures women and girls in moments of unguarded joy, dancing and relaxing; it captures them being themselves. These images do not depict rest; they celebrate leisure as a personal right and subtle, powerful form of resistance.

Surabhi argues that while much of today’s feminist movement focuses on resisting patriarchy—fighting for equal pay, rights, and recognition—this approach often feels reactive, simply responding to the rules set by men. To her, real power in feminism lies in opening up so many new possibilities to women and creating spaces where women have the choice to explore and define their identities. Within these very words, leisure ceases to become a mere break from life’s routine but assumes the role of a path toward self-discovery and empowerment. Leisure time would afford a space within which women could discover themselves beyond defined roles assigned to them, hence changing this resting time into a powerful tool of creating and reclaiming their own narratives.

If one were to introspect into the life of a Kashmiri woman, it would become evident that these moments of leisure are more than just brief escapes from daily responsibilities— they are subtle acts of defiance, quiet rebellions against a world that tries to confine them to narrow roles. 

Whether they find peace in the sacred spaces of a Sufi shrine or take a rare moment of rest within their homes, these women are taking back their narratives from just being victims to discovering their own identities, engaging in activities they truly enjoy, and reclaiming their right to prioritize their own well-being.

But as we applaud these acts of quiet defiance before the mountains, we must also remind ourselves: What are we, as a society, doing to make their burdens a little lighter? How do we ensure that the leisure of Kashmiri women is priority and not an afterthought? For too long, our feminist goals have centered on survival—fighting for land, labor, and basic rights. But perhaps true liberation for Kashmiri women means striving for more than just safety and survival. It means reimagining leisure as a fundamental right, a space for self-discovery and liberation.

Views expressed in the article are the author’s own and do not necessarily represent the editorial stance of Kashmir Observer 

• The author is a student at Smith College 

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