Srinagar- Aisha’s (name changed) life began not with a gentle lullaby, but with the harsh discord of a fracturing home. At just three-year-old, she witnessed a constant clash of raised voices and slamming doors.
When her parents finally separated, she was taken in by her aunt at a tender age, who lived just across the street. Yet, the longing for her father and a strained relationship with her stepmother compounded her emotional distress. The turmoil culminated in severe mental health challenges and harrowing attempts at self-harm and suicide.
After seeking medical attention, she was finally referred to a psychiatrist for comprehensive care.
“Parental discord can make a child feel the world is insecure. In Psychology, the basic trust theory suggests children need security from trustworthy caregivers. Abuse and discord can lead to mistrust and anxiety, shaping their personality,” Waseem Kakroo, Consultant Clinical Psychologist (RCI) at Centre for Mental Health Services, said.
The psychologist said that alongside abuse, parental discord, separation and divorce, domestic violence casts a shadow over a child’s developmental journey. According to him, such children often adopt a pessimistic outlook, resorting to impulsivity and violence in adulthood.
He underscored the concerning trend of children mirroring violent behaviors witnessed in their upbringing, perpetuating a cycle of aggression in future relationships. “If a child is witness to violence in the childhood, he or she models such behavior in the adult relationship, in future instead of communicating in an assertive way, they turn to violence,” Kakroo said.
“They can also develop mental health issues later in their life such as depression, anxiety disorder and borderline personality disorder.”
Various research also suggests that children exposed to chronic stress during early development are more likely to experience anxiety later in life. A study undertaken to assess mental health among children from Anantnag district of Kashmir found that children from ‘disrupted’ families have lower mental health as compared to ‘intact’ families.
Another study published in the Journal of Humanities And Social Sciences revealed that domestic violence not only poses a direct threat to women’s health but also has adverse consequences for the survival and well-being of children.
Programme Coordinator, Child Guidance and Wellbeing Centre, Institute of Mental Health and Neurosciences (IMHANS), Kashmir Adil Wadoo said that the centre addresses a range of child mental health needs, including those arising from domestic violence, which falls under the broader category of psycho-social issues.
The Child Guidance and Wellbeing Centre, Institute of Mental Health and Neurosciences (IMHANS) is being run with the help of UNICEF and caters to the need for children’s mental wellbeing.
According to data from the IMHANS, over the span of five years, from January 2019 to December 2023, the total number of sessions conducted with children and adolescents grappling with various mental illnesses exceeded 33,000.
Most of the children came from Srinagar followed by Budgam, Baramulla, Pulwama, Kupwara, Bandipora, Anantnag, Ganderbal, Shopian. Least number of children were seen from Kulgam district.
Between 2019 and 2021, a total of 602 children sought assistance at the Child Guidance and Wellbeing Centre, Institute of Mental Health and Neurosciences (IMHANS), due to issues stemming from family discord.
In the subsequent period, from January 2022 to December 2023, the number increased, with a total of 657 children seeking help for similar reasons. Among these, 82 sought assistance due to parental discord, 40 due to parental separation, 78 suffered because of neglectful parenting, 51 experienced challenges associated with authoritarian parenting, 329 sought help due to low socioeconomic status, and 77 children sought assistance for family accommodation issues.
Wadoo said that witnessing domestic violence can have a profound and lasting impact on children’s cognitive development and mental health. The more sensitive a child, the more susceptible they are to these effects, he opined.
“Each child reacts differently to violence,” Wadoo said, adding, “Take the case of two children in the same household. If both have witnessed domestic violence, they can react in a different way. One can react violently and the other can get into depression.”
“Science tells us even unborn babies may be affected by prenatal exposure to domestic violence.When the child is affected inside the womb, he or she is definitely affected after being born,” Wadoo said.
Parental discord and conflict can affect the neuro-chemistry and neuro-development of a child.The most prevalent issue, as per Wadoo, is the Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD).
Barriers To Seeking Mental Health Care
Nightmares painted with violence chase Zaid (11) in his sleep, his tiny body jolting awake in a cold sweat. Every raised voice sends tremors down his spine, echoing the night his father’s rage erupted like a volcano on his mother. No amount of whispered comfort can erase the chilling memories etched deep within his tender heart.
His father’s presence is a constant tightrope walk for Zaid. Even moments of apparent tenderness send his heart hammering, his young mind unable to silence the fear that the storm will return. Yet, the doctor’s door remains firmly shut.
“It’s astonishing,” says Kakroo.
“Educated families readily seek out specialists for their children’s stomachs and hearts, but they shun psychiatrists. Suicidal thoughts are accepted, but seeking mental health help remains taboo.”
Stigma, like a heavy cloak, suffocates open dialogue and timely intervention. Zaid, and countless others like him, become trapped in a cycle of fear and silence, their unspoken pain echoing in the shadows.
Wadoo also said that parents take mental-health issues very lightly but with time things are changing. More and more children are seeking help for mental health issues.
As children in Kashmir grapple with the complex interplay of societal norms and mental health challenges, experts emphasize the urgency of collective action to break the cycle of violence and prioritize the well-being of children.
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