How Clinical Psychologists Can Help Save Your Marriage

By Wasim Kakroo

MARRIAGE is considered one of the most important events in one’s life, but it can also be one of the most challenging experiences, especially if there are issues that arise within the relationship. It is not uncommon for couples to experience problems in their marriage that may lead to feelings of dissatisfaction, resentment, or even a desire for divorce. When such issues arise, it is important for couples to seek the help of a trained professional, such as a clinical psychologist. In this article, I will explore the role of clinical psychologists in handling marital issues but first I will discuss why most of the people in our part of the world may prefer to bring on board their relatives, neighbors, or other community members to help handle marital discord but not prefer to seek help from a clinical psychologist.

The Cultural Preference for Bringing On Board Relatives, Neighbors, or Other Community Members

In our part of the world, it is common for close family members to bring on board their relatives from extended family such as uncles and aunts, neighbors, panchs and sarpanchs, police, and lawyers to help handle marital discord. However, they may not prefer to bring clinical psychologists onboard. There are several reasons why this may be the case.

One reason for this preference may be the stigma associated with mental health issues. In many cultures, mental health issues are still stigmatized, and seeking the help of a mental health professional may be seen as a sign of weakness or a lack of faith in one’s ability to handle problems on their own. As a result, some people may prefer to seek help from their immediate community rather than from a trained professional.

Another reason why people in our part of the world may prefer to bring on board relatives, neighbors, or other community members to help handle marital issues is the belief that these individuals have a better understanding of their culture and traditions. It is believed that these individuals may be better equipped to understand the nuances of the couple’s relationship and may be better able to provide culturally appropriate advice and guidance.

There may also be financial considerations that play a role in the preference for seeking help from relatives or community members rather than clinical psychologists. In some cases, seeking the help of a trained professional may be seen as a luxury that is only available to those who can afford it. As a result, some people may opt to seek help from their immediate community as it may be more cost-effective or free of charge.

Another factor that may contribute to the preference for seeking help from relatives or community members is the trust factor. In many cultures, there is a strong emphasis on family and community ties. People may feel more comfortable seeking help from those they trust, such as their relatives, neighbors, or community members, as they may be more willing to keep their problems confidential and may be more invested in finding a solution that works for everyone involved.

The Importance of Seeking Help from Clinical Psychologists

While seeking help from relatives or community members may have some advantages, it is important to remember that clinical psychologists are trained professionals with specialized expertise in helping individuals, couples, and families address mental health issues, including marital discord. Seeking the help of a clinical psychologist can provide several benefits that may not be available when seeking help from relatives or community members.
Following are some of the benefits of seeking help from a clinical psychologist:

1. Clinical psychologists can provide a safe and confidential space for couples to discuss their issues without fear of judgment or stigma. Unlike relatives or community members, clinical psychologists are bound by ethical and legal guidelines that require them to maintain confidentiality and respect their clients’ privacy.

2. Clinical psychologists are trained professionals who specialize in the diagnosis and treatment of mental health disorders. They are trained to help individuals, couples, and families address a wide range of issues related to mental health and well-being. When it comes to marital issues, clinical psychologists can help couples identify and address the underlying issues that may be causing problems in the relationship.

3. Clinical psychologists can provide couples with evidence-based interventions and strategies that have been proven to be effective in helping couples resolve their issues. Unlike relatives or community members who may rely on personal experiences or cultural traditions, clinical psychologists have access to a wide range of research and techniques that can be tailored to meet the unique needs of each individual couple.

4. Clinical psychologists can provide couples with an objective and unbiased perspective on their issues. Relatives or community members may have their own biases and preconceived notions that can influence the advice and guidance they provide. Clinical psychologists, on the other hand, are trained to be objective and non-judgmental in their approach, allowing couples to explore their issues without feeling pressured or influenced by outside forces.

5. One of the key roles of clinical psychologists in handling marital issues is to help couples communicate effectively. Communication is the foundation of any healthy relationship, and clinical psychologists can help couples learn how to communicate in a way that is respectful, constructive, and productive. Through therapy sessions, couples can learn how to listen to one another, express their thoughts and feelings in a non-threatening manner, and work together to find solutions to the problems they are facing.

6. Another important role of clinical psychologists in handling marital issues is to help couples manage their emotions. It is common for couples to experience strong emotions when they are dealing with marital issues, such as anger, sadness, or fear. Clinical psychologists can help couples learn how to manage these emotions in a healthy and constructive way, rather than allowing them to spiral out of control and cause further damage to the relationship.

7. Clinical psychologists can also help couples develop strategies for conflict resolution. Conflict is a normal part of any relationship, but it is important for couples to learn how to resolve conflicts in a healthy and constructive way. Through therapy sessions, clinical psychologists can help couples develop strategies for managing conflict and finding mutually beneficial solutions to the problems they are facing.

The process of marital counseling in nutshell:

1. Assessment and Diagnosis: Clinical psychologists first assess and diagnose the nature and severity of marital discord. They conduct interviews, use standardized psychological tests, and observe couples’ interactions to identify the underlying issues that contribute to the discord. They also evaluate each partner’s psychological functioning to determine if there are any underlying mental health issues that may be contributing to the discord.

2. Therapy: Clinical psychologists use various therapeutic approaches to help couples resolve their conflicts and improve their relationship. They provide couples with tools and strategies to enhance communication, strengthen emotional bonds, and increase intimacy. They may use behavioral, cognitive-behavioral, psychodynamic, or other evidence-based therapies to help couples to identify and address the root causes of their discord.

3. Mediation: In some cases, clinical psychologists may act as mediators to facilitate communication between couples. They help couples to express their concerns, needs, and feelings in a safe and supportive environment. They also help couples to negotiate and find mutually agreeable solutions to their conflicts. Mediation can be particularly useful in cases where couples have difficulty communicating effectively or where there is a high level of conflict.

4. Education: Clinical psychologists provide couples with education and information about healthy communication, conflict resolution, and relationship skills. They help couples to develop a better understanding of each other’s needs and expectations and provide them with strategies to improve their communication and emotional connection. Education can be particularly useful for couples who have not had prior experience in managing relationship issues.

5. Referral: In cases where there are underlying mental health issues that require specialized treatment, clinical psychologists may refer couples to other mental health professionals such as psychiatrists. They may also refer couples to support groups or other community resources to help them cope with the stress of marital discord.
The author is an RCI licensed clinical psychologist (alumni of Govt. Medical College Srinagar) and works as a consultant clinical psychologist at Centre for Mental Health Services (CMHS) at Rambagh Srinagar. He can be reached at 8825067196

• The author is an RCI licensed clinical psychologist (alumni of Govt. Medical College Srinagar) and works as a consultant clinical psychologist at Centre for Mental Health Services (CMHS) at Rambagh Srinagar. He can be reached at 8825067196

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