At a time when wedding bells are ringing in almost every city locality, research suggests that young adults in Kashmir not only marry and have children later than previous generations, they take more time to get to know each other before tying the knot. Indeed, some spend some part of their life as friends or romantic partners before marrying.
In 2021, a survey conducted by a non-profit organization Tehreek e Fala-Ul-Muslimeen showed that nearly 50,000 women in Kashmir valley have crossed the age limit of getting married of whom more than 10,000 are from Srinagar. In a bid to put an end to late marriages, city youth voice their opinions to counter the burning issue.
I think, the extravaganza and new customs have tarnished the naïve and sublime institution of marriage. The pompous and futile practices add a burden to people who fail to match the social pressure. In addition, the imbalance is created by educational status among both genders, economic background, caste system and choices of working or nonworking class. As a result, the poor, lower middle class and middle class are left in a very bad state resulting in late marriages.
It is high time we need to stop spending lavishly on our weddings and we need to give up the casteist and racist approach when we look for a match.
Gazala Hassan, Educator
In contemporary times, the number of “single people” is increasing in Kashmir. In my opinion, late marriages are a self-made socio-cultural issue which should be viewed at multiple levels. At an individual level, we are giving preferences to worldly success. At the parental level, we are still very conservative and at socio-cultural levels.
I think we need to have counseling sessions for everyone to be husband and wife, their parents, siblings to make them understand the new life and its responsibilities and get rid of unnecessary customs and traditions.
Ilyas Rizvi, Socio-Cultural Researcher
Marriage is a sacred institution where two independent individuals have to understand and invest in a relationship, rather than expect to be perfectionist.
When an individual or parents or the society wants to look at your skin color, accounts and professional position, late marriages will be common. To attain such a level one has to invest time and money. This has taken a toll on our social fabric and we see chaos. We need to stop looking into marriage from a materialistic point of view and look at it as a lifelong relationship based on mutual respect.
Syed Mehran, Student, IASE
I wanted to get married two years ago but due to monetary and caste issues, was not able to find a good match. I think we should stop judging someone from a monetary and casteist point of view. We need to restore our faith in God and try to value people for who they are and not because of monetary aspects.
Rafiq Ahmad (Name Changed), Businessman
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