What is the best thing that you can do for your child? This is a question that I have asked many parents in the community. Most people think that it involves reading to, playing with or comforting their child. These things are all important for a childs development, but they are not the answer I am looking for. My top parenting tip is to look after yourself.
Being a parent is hard work. I know this through my work as a social psychologist and my personal experience as a mother. The good news is that self-care is a simple way to make it (slightly) easier.
The idea behind self-care is quite straightforward: we need to look after our own need and wants too. Practising self-care is key for our well-being. It also gives us the energy we need to get through our busy and often stressful days.
Self-care requires four things. The first step is giving yourself permission to prioritise your own well-being. This is often the hardest part for parents. We tend to think that self-care is selfish. Its quite the opposite; looking after our own physical and mental health makes us better parents and partners.
The next step is to stop making excuses. Being a parent means that time, sleep, and money are often limited. This doesnt rule out self-care. A weekend away or a day at the spa would be nice, but its not the only way to look after yourself. Self-care is about making moments for ourselves, however brief. My favourite self-care practice is sitting in my car, quietly, for a few minutes after I get home from work. This gives me a chance to collect my thoughts and gather the energy I need to really engage with my kids at the end of a long day.
Making a pledge is a good way to start your self-care practice. Identify what you will do today, this week, or even this month. Share your pledge with your partner and ask them to support you in your self-care quest. Better yet, chat with them about how they can incorporate self-care into their own lives too. Everyone will be better off when you do – as individuals and as a family unit.
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