Nothing Fake About This News

I don’t know about you, but I am upset by the issue of fake news. Why do people do these things like lie and make up stories? Are they not ashamed? Don’t they think about all the damage they are causing? Shame on them. Anyway, enough of that. Today I thought I would curate and bring to you the best real news items of the day. Enjoy.

Kapil-Sunil war continues

After a nasty public disagreement, efforts are afoot to bring about a truce between the two TV stars. After all, there is no fundamental disagreement between their ultimate objective, which is the success of the show. Fans are divided between the two men and some are refusing to forgive the other side. However, everyone sees the benefit of them working together again in the team’s interest. When asked why he remained upset, Sunil said: “Ever since he was made captain, Kapil is acting like God. He should have some modesty for heaven’s sake. Let bygones be bygones: 1983 was 34 years ago.”

And Kapil’s response was: “Sunil is one of the most boring commentators in the world. I can’t stand him being on the same show as me.” Meanwhile those under-35 had no idea what this story was about.

Modi triggers Brexit
 

All Britain was in rapture after Modi said he was triggering Brexit. “Enough is enough,” said Modi, “for too long has this island nation suffered.” He said it was now the turn of Europe, and particularly Paris, Milan, Rome and other fun places to host him and his boasts about how he singlehandedly took India to the big league. The exit from Britain of Modi came after Interpol clarified that there was no Red Corner notice against him.

Oppo under siege over insult
 

The government warned of firm action after it was learned that the flag may have been insulted. Individuals in Noida were seen watching a movie on their phone without standing up for the anthem. “This outrage seems to be the work of OPPOsition. We will never allow this,” angry ruling party members said, calling for an immediate ban on meat and romance.

GST: One nation, one tax
 

There was rejoicing around the nation’s studios as the GST Bill was passed. “This is a slap in the face of antinationals,” said Grrrnab, “any attempts to split or divide this country in any way will fail.”

Terrified economists on the panel were not given a chance to respond and the debate continued with harsh words against Pakistan, jihadis, JNU and the Mukherjeas.

NEWS IN BRIEF

• MP drives to Delhi after missing his fight

• Oz excuse for loss: Accents hindered sledging
 

• Tybalt to lead anti-Romeo squad
 

• Supreme Court raises India’s BS standard

The Article First Appeared In Mumbai Mirror

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