Beyond the glamour

(Life)

Treading lightly on ‘secret’ conversations from the publishing world

AUTHOR : (Confident, ready to strike off the front foot) ‘Hey! This is Adi!’

Marketing head of publishing firm : ‘Who?’

‘Your author! Adi!’

Marketing manager is irritated. Bowls a bouncer. ‘What’s Adi?’

‘My name! My name is Aditya Barjatya!’

‘What about it?’

Author shuffles hesitantly at the crease. ‘I .. I just wanted to say hello ..because I’m one of your authors. You will be marketing my … er … I mean you are the marketing head of my publisher. I’m so looking forward to working with you.’

(Sourly) ‘What book have you written?’

(Gushingly) ‘Three roses and one love!’

‘Uh huh’.

‘So!’

‘So what?’

‘I mean, I thought I’d just check with you, sir, what kind of initial response you have been getting for my book.’

‘I have not even heard of any such book. Are you sure you are talking to the right publisher?’

‘Yes of course, sir! I have signed a contract and everything!’

‘Three love stories with one love?’

‘No! ‘Three roses and one love’ by Aditya Barjatya.’

‘Hmm… wait a minute … yes, it has just come in. It’s slotted for publication next year.’

‘Exactly! I er .. just wanted to check about the feedback from the market.’

‘You expect feedback from the market one year before release?’

‘I mean .. just some preliminary buzz, y’know … from the grapevine or something, I mean …’

‘ Call me next year.’

‘Next year?’

‘Yes, yes. Bye.’

‘Er.. wait .. is it .. hello? Hello?’

Marketing head calls editor in a huff. Takes long stride forward and gets ready with back-swing. ‘What’s this? You’ve given my number to some idiot author who has written ‘Love among roses’ or something?’

Editor goes on to the back foot.

‘You mean Aditya? I didn’t give him your direct number. I just told him we are done with editing, so marketing will take over when they are ready.’

‘He just called me a whole year before schedule and wanted to know about the preliminary buzz for his book.’

‘Preliminary buzz?’

‘That’s what he said. Right now he must be talking to some wealth manager to plan what to do with his royalties once they start flooding in.’

‘Ha ha! Good one!’

‘But seriously, my dear, don’t put these guys on to me so early. All these authors think they can write one book and turn into celebrities overnight. Last week, I was speaking to a lady for whom we were working on a small book launch. Just the usual thing to boost her ego, you know what I mean. We had in mind the usual half a dozen plastic chairs in some friendly book shop with a coffee and cake. But she got carried away and demanded that we get Ranbir Kapoor to attend.’

‘Hyuk, hyuk.. ha ho ho ..this is too much, dude.’

‘I’m telling you! They have no clue about the economics involved or how difficult it is to get people to read books these days. But they are all so ambitious, my God! Here, join me in a snack. Tea and samosas.

’Nice! Where did these come from?’

‘Oh, we had a book launch today. We had ordered samosas and tea for eight people, only three turned up. ’

Bhaskar is a private banker and an author. He blogs on www.pgbhaskar.com and his twitter handle is @bhaskarpg

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