The Air India flight that Narendra Modi, Indias PM, takes to Kashmir is called Air India One. Usually it’s a Boeing 747-400 aircraft, of which India has around four or five. Although the VVIP plane is fitted with a special suite, bedroom, a lounge, a six-seater office and satellite phones, I dont think Modi would require any of those for the one-hour flight.
Expect him to ask his staff to pick up the corniest one-liners from Twitter. One of his smartpant advisors would then try and give it as a desi spin, before writing it for the PM on a tablet. Over the next half an hour a number of thought-balloons would pop up in Modis head, while he fine-tunes the catch phrase (How do you think he destroyed the Congress?) until he comes with some pithy catchword. Ye Dil Mange Uri or something similar. Not one MW of electricity (Of the 240 MW Uri II Hydel project) shall be consumed in Kashmir but that is another story.
Sharp shooters, barricades, luggage checks and other restrictions have cropped up overnight in the valley even as the national press falls over each other to advertise extra security and related paraphernalia for the PM. Two hundred cars have been requisitioned from the state garages, someone said. Frankly it cheeses you off the way the security establishment goes about this over-drive but we live in crazy times.
Amidst this security exposition, a strike call by the freedom camp only goes on to make things easy for authorities. With desolate roads, zero traffic and no crowds, the 2000-odd policemen deployed from Srinagar to Uri will surely have a lazy day guarding the highway. Another matter Modi will take a chopper to the Uri dam.
Back to Air India One. The plane touches down. All top cops on the tarmac stand to attention, crisp salutes on hold. The PM, his designer beard grey and neatly clipped, gingerly steps out. He is wearing an immaculate half-sleeves Kurta and a chiffon Nehru jacket. The chudidar has 15 wrinkles on each leg.
Modi is supremely conscious of his image. The transplanted hair on his scalp is testament to his du jour style. He has a furtive gaze that misses nothing. From the corner of his eye he sizes Omar Abdullah up. The CMs blue eyes make him a shade handsome than Modi. Among the various grudges the PM holds against the Abdullahs, a friendly psychologist will tell you, is the blue eyes. And dimples. The czars of Gupkar have been able to hide decades of disaffection in those dimples.
The twain shake hands. A brief inventive chat erupts.
OA: Modi Ji. Welcome.
Modi: Danyawad. Your glasses look nice.
OA: Yours are better.
Modi: Mine are rimless. Tom Ford.
OA: You look very educated sir.
Modi (in jest): Listen kid dont give me that Sanawar attitude.
OA: I meant it as genuine praise.
Modi: I dont like flatterers.
OA (quickly shifting gears): Srinagar looks its best in July.
Modi: Okay but I heard everyone is joining the PDP.
OA: Only the corrupt ones.
Modi: Oh, and you got saints only.
OA: We are a peoples party.
Modi: Any buyers for that, this season?
OA: We will get another six years.
Modi: Beware BJP may get majority in J&K.
OA: That is for everyone to see.
Modi: Vote for Modi and drown in sea, who said that?
OA: That was media creation.
Modi: Media is lady of the evening. An obedient one.
OA: Especially if you have 300 plus seats.
The cavalcade gets off. The SPG men scramble. Buzzers sound out. Kashmiri cops salute on empty stomachs.
Modi (looking out): There is no traffic in Srinagar.
OA: Usually there is only traffic and dogs, sir. Today is an exception.
Modi: Is it because of me?
OA: It is despite you, sir.
Sameer
@sameerft
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