Feel Emotions Before You Heal Emotions

Illustration Credits: Fandijki/Wired UK

By Wasim Kakroo

THERE are times in life when pain and suffering reminds us that we have fragmented portions of ourselves that need to be repaired and treated. Something is out of balance, and it demands quick attention, affection and care.

These negative signals must be addressed, and the underlying problem must be addressed. This can be accomplished through emotional healing, in which our ideas, feelings, and behaviours are no longer influenced by our painful life experiences.

What is Emotional Healing and How Does It Work?

Emotional healing is the ability to keep painful thoughts, feelings, and emotions under control so that they do not cause interference in the present moment.

Emotional healing is the acceptance of all difficult life experiences as well as the negative emotional reactions that result from them. It entails mastering the art of coping with a variety of stressors. When someone is emotionally healed, the psychological pain that was bothering them no longer holds them back. The mental scars have healed, and there is no longer any considerable discomfort.

The past will never be a barrier to living in the present moment happily and calmly during the emotional healing process. Healing one's emotions will allow one to reintegrate all the disintegrated parts of oneself. It accelerates the process of coming to grips with grief, allowing you to grow stronger and more confident from inside.

Why do we need emotional Healing?

Emotional healing teaches us how to cope and adjust in life. It increases our awareness of emotional reactions and aids in the right expression of feelings which might lead to effective stress management. Finding a sense of purpose and meaning in life helps people connect with one another, which leads to a greater focus on the positive aspects of life.

What are the various signs of emotional pain?

It takes time to come to terms with the full extent of negative consequences when unpleasant things happen in life. A distressing occurrence that has shattered one's feeling of security can cause emotional pain and psychological trauma. There is a sense of powerlessness, hyperactivity, and anxiety. Upsetting emotions are present, making it appear as if you have little or no control over the situation. The various signs of emotional pain are as:

Emotional signs that indicate the need for inner healing might include:

1. Anger and mood swings are common.

2. There's a chance you'll get confused, have trouble concentrating, and perhaps lose your memory.

3. Guilt, shame, and disbelief arise as emotions.

4. Feelings of sadness and helplessness.

5. Observing a lack of social interaction.

6. Withdrawing from others and living alone.

7. Insomnia and a lack of physical energy.

8. Anxiety that interferes with day-to-day activities

9. Reacting to negative emotions more often than responding to them.

10. Finding yourself trapped in a vicious cycle of mental stress and anguish.

11. Holding on to bad emotions rather than letting them go.

12. Sense of insecurity and low self-esteem.

13. Difficulty offering love, trust and sympathy towards others.

14. Overreacting to tiny things that stimulate the emotions.

15. Clinging to resentments

16. Difficulty in forgiving others.

What are the various stages of emotional healing?

Emotional healing necessitates some conscious work in order to reassemble all of the broken pieces into a whole. There are several phases to emotional healing. It happens by learning to accept and acknowledge all of one's feelings without passing judgment. As a result, emotional healing is a multifaceted process that necessitates a high level of skill and patience.

The stages of emotional healing are:

1. Surrendering to pain:

The rejection and denial of painful feelings causes emotional distress. Surrendering to pain is a healthy thing to do during an emotional healing process. Try not to run away from the pain. Be aware of your emotions and the essence of your pain. To heal, you must first understand and feel your emotions.

2. Tolerance comes from awareness:

Increasing one's awareness of emotions allows them to be named. The first step in handling the negative emotions is to know them. This is an action-oriented stage in which comprehending painful emotions aids in the healing of deep-seated scars. Knowing what kind of emotions your mind perceives can help you cope better with them.

3. Dealing with Emotional Blockages:
Emotional healing faces emotional pain objectively. As a result, the emotional issue that was avoided is confronted. Running away from difficulties can make things worse, therefore relief is sensed at this time. Prepare yourself to deal with the emotional blockage. To understand emotional problems, engage in honest self-talk. Determine your emotional triggers and then confront them. When confronted with negative emotions, try to accept them and you will feel better.

4. Inevitable expression:

After confronting the emotions, they may disturb us. Learn to honor the pain at this time, and in order to heal, one must learn to express their emotions. When you're depressed, in that situation, crying, yelling, and screaming in an empty room might help you release your unspoken anger and make you feel better. Allowing emotions to persist in the physical body for an extended period of time leads to mental tiredness and withdrawal. Movement toward recovery will take place over time and with patience.

5. Acceptance of Emotions:

Acceptance is the stage at which you can feel emptied of emotions. It's possible to be numb to all of your traumatic experiences. It's as if it's become a part of the soul. There is mastery over negative emotions when they are accepted. By relinquishing control over current thoughts and sensations, the pain will fade away. After the struggle is finished, the growth can begin. This stage puts your emotional stamina to the test and brings out the best in you. Old habits go away, and one is ready to embrace change. Emotional healing ushers in a new life full of vigour, optimism, and hope.

Making the decision to heal emotionally from the old familiar pattern of hurt and disappointments, followed by acceptance and awareness, is a step toward healing and recovery. The soul is frees itself from emotional shackles and moves forward toward growth and well-being, allowing for significant spiritual development.


  • The author is a licensed clinical psychologist (alumni of Govt. Medical College Srinagar). He can be reached at 8825067196

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