Parenting: Role and Responsibility

By Mir Basit 

CHILDREN are blessings for the parents in this world and a gift of God to mankind. The joy and jubilation of a child’s birth in our societies is limitless. Those who are devoid of this blessing know its value more than anyone else. Those parents, who have been blessed, must understand that with blessings comes a responsibility, the responsibility of raising your child with right care and ensuring all round development. The hierarchical development of a child is natural and a duty which every parent must perform.

Caring and raising a child is not always an easy job because through the child a parent gets joy and sometimes somberness. Through a child, parents are put to great trials. Islam, being a complete way of life (Din), guides us in every aspect of our lives. It, thus, provides us rules and guidelines on how to raise and develop a child. But unfortunately people have forgotten those principles and have instead adopted a so-called modern approach, which is just a big deceit.

Dear Parents!  If you are serious and concerned about the better future of your child, then there is an added responsibility on you to make it happen. It is seen that parents, these days, tend to shy away from this responsibility and adopt a lenient approach which often leads to the dark future of their child.  They don’t realize that it is they, who will be held accountable on behalf of their children on the Day of Judgment, as the Quran clearly mentions: “O you who believe! Ward off yourselves and your families against a Fire (Hell) whose fuel is men and stones, over which are (appointed) angels stern (and) severe, who disobey not, (from executing) the Commands they receive from God, but do that which they are commanded” (Quran 66: 6). Firstly, you (parents) have to live and follow the righteous path and then necessarily your children ought to follow it; only you (parents) being on the right path is not acceptable as far as Islam is concerned. That’s the beauty of Islam/ Deen, where it cares for everyone.

A child has a fresh brain where he can accept anything without differentiating between right and wrong; whatever he observes around him, he starts imitating it. He perceives things and accordingly builds his mind. So, it is important for the adults to behave in a proper ethical way, one good for their lives and secondly leaving a good impression on their child which they will automatically inherit.

If you are habitual in lying, your children will automatically procure it, because they being immature would surely copy their parents. It becomes obligatory then to speak truth always in your life and then endorse it on your children. Use of slangs, bad language should also be avoided in their presence. One common problem among people is the Unnecessary yelling or shouting, whether on other family members or on the children. Regular yelling makes it a nuisance which isn’t the way of dealing with things. No doubt, we should always mend the ways of our children, but by love and affection. Because children deserve that love and a necessary balance should be maintained between love for your children and the responsibilities.

Any parent, poor or rich, would never wish anything bad for their child. But sometimes the love for them blinds them to a certain extent. Take the example of use of mobile phones. It has become like oxygen for our children and they eat their food only when provided the phone but easily it can be avoided, instead one can use that mobile phone in a positive way to shape the future of their child.

Children who are addicted to cartoons can easily be redirected to good content, which in a sense will entertain them and will prove fruitful for their future. Every technology is like a double edged sword, so the responsibility of parents increases double-fold: whatever we will feed them they will accept it. Now it is up to the parents what sort of content they will feed them they will grow up around that.

The Prophet (pbuh) said: “Each of you is a shepherd and each of you is responsible for his flock. The ruler is a shepherd and is responsible for his flock. A man is the shepherd of his family and is responsible for his flock. A woman is the shepherd of her husband’s household and is responsible for her flock”. So if the children are reared as righteous ones, their benefits will be enjoyed by their parents in longer run and contrastingly if bad habits are inflicted into the children, on the Day of Judgment their parents will surely be held accountable. One can’t act in oblivion. Islam has laid the guidelines how to up bring and nurture the child from the primary stages of love to ultimately aggressive approaches if needed, but the responsibility lies on parents.

Make you child better in worldly affairs and also the religious affairs and follow the principles of Islam where success is guaranteed. I end this write-up with this famous Turkish proverb: “If there are no sounds of children laughing in the back as you are praying in a mosque, fear for your next generation”.

  • The author is pursuing a Masters in Mechanical Engineering 

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