It is very strange to realise how we hardly notice things changing as the days pass. Day after day, we continue following the same monotonous routine. Every day looks the same and sometimes it feels like our life has become stagnant and stale. Yet, when we look back at the same moments after a year or two, we realise how much everything has changed. In our everyday struggle, we dont realise how fast time flies and how abruptly things change. Life, in many ways, is like a roller coaster ride. People die, friendships turn sour, priorities change, some dreams are realised and some are forgotten, but there is one thing that always remains the same and that is ” the inner you”. Even though your wishes, desires, persona, attitude and behavior changes, the inner you remains the same, till you kick the bucket.
I recently turned 25 and though age, for me, has always only been a number. A walk down my memory lane, made me realise the valuable lessons I had learnt so far. For the last two decades, every day has been a new lesson. Each dawn has come with a fresh chance to gather the scattered pieces of my life and mound them into a beautiful yet strong shape which will withstand the storms that life is yet to bring my way. I thought of sharing some of these important lessons with you. Who knows someday you may thank me for them because I know that some of the most useful lessons of my life were learnt in this way.
LESSON 1: Never Sacrifice Your Dignity For Your Destiny.
Life, if not analysed properly, is nothing but a mirage of un-kept promises and broken dreams. Sometimes your very own knight in shining armour turns out to be a sociopath dressed in mesmerising clothes. More than often, people compromise with their present in hope of perfecting their future. Every day we meet new people. Some become important and some we forget the very next moment. Some people turn out be a blessing in disguise while as some turn out to be the devils advocate. The only advice I have to give is to keep your hearts open but at the same time never let your guard down. Dont let cheesy chirpy words flatter you because life is much more than being swayed by smooth talkers. Never trust people too much for even Satan was an angel once. In the same manner, never play the villain to others. You dont need to be a victim nor do you need to be the victimiser. Never try to hurt others with your words or actions because what goes around certainly comes around.
LESSON 2: Never Be Dependent on Anyone.
This lesson sounds as an outcry of rebellion and contradiction. How can one not be dependent on others in this world? By saying not dependent, I did not mean to say to completely ignore the presence of others in your life. I meant learn to strike a balance. Know the difference between being dependent and being a burden. Too much emotional dependence on others is what robs us of our sanity. This is why this form of dependence is the worst kind. Try to be strong enough to let go and embrace new things. Women especially have to stop fantasizing and living off their husband’s money. Create your own identity in the society. Dont just be someones wife, mother or daughter. Be you, be independent both financially and emotionally. Remember Khadija (R.A), one of the most powerful and wealthiest person during her era, was a women too. Let no one dictate your life for you. No law says that you cant lend a helping hand to your husband. If he is willing to make you a part of his struggle, be his guiding lamp.
LESSON 3: Set Some Goals to Achieve before You Turn 30, especially if you are a women
It often pains me to realise that some people really need a complete mental makeover. They regard women as nothing but a mere commodity, their” paaon ki juti”, a fragile and a delicate flower and someone who needs constant guidance. I am not accusing everyone of being a male chauvinist but a majority of our society thinks that all a women is born to do, is get married. No doubt that marriage is an important part of our life but it is not the only part. Getting married in no way means giving up your dreams and aspirations. Set some goals for yourself and work hard towards achieving these goals. You do not need to leave your homes to leave an impact on the world. Sometimes revolutions take place simply by the way you behave. Even the way you behave can at times inspire others. You can be equally great even by simply continuing to believe in what you always have believed in when the world is pressurizing you to change.
LESSON 4: Never Give Up, No Matter How Hard It May Seem.
It may sound clichéd, but this is the only thing that sustains life. We all have some dreams that we want to achieve but fail to. There are people we want to spend our life with, but we dont succeed. There are desires that we kill even before they take shape because we give up too quickly. I have had my share of broken desires. Wanted to study medicine but instead studied journalism and became neither of the too. But this is what life is. It never stops testing you, it never stops throwing hurdles your way and it never stops amusing you. But if I lived my life in constant remorse and regret, I wouldnt have been able to move on and become what I am today. Plans may not always work the way you meant them to but what is important is to look for an opportunity to better yourself always, even in failure.
LESSON 5: Never forget your Family for they are The Most Important People in Your Life.
Everyone you know will love you for one or the other reason but your family, they will love you unconditionally. In every struggle of yours, in every decision of yours, in every challenge you face, they will support you and will always try to protect you. Unfortunately we do not realise their value in time because we are too busy with our own lives. I have come to realise that the only thing that matters in the end is your family. Never ever compromise on their happiness for anything in the world.
LESSON 6: Make Friends, Even If Only A Few, But For Life.
You may have thousands of friends in your virtual life. You may have hundreds of people counting on you, but when you are sitting all alone in a dark corner, going through the most unpleasant phase of your life, none of these friends is going to come to your rescue. It is only the true friends which stand by your side through thick and thin. Thankfully I have been lucky in this regard. I cannot boast of having a very interesting and exciting social life, but I can certainly vouch to having some of the worlds most compassionate friends, even if they are only a handful. But then again, I believe in quality rather than quantity.
LESSON 7: Life is Never Fair but it is Still Beautiful.
In every phase of our life, we face a setback. When we are young, we compete for good grades. When we grow up, we compete for a good career. Then we compete for the perfect match. Then for the luxuries of our family. In short, we have to compete at every stage of life. Sometimes all life throws our way is rejection and dissatisfaction but one day everything starts to make sense. We realise why we didnt get what we wanted and also how that was better for us in the long run. Sometimes the chaos paints a beautiful picture. The important thing is to be patient and learn to look at the brighter side.
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