On Forgiveness : why it is good and cathartic?


To forgive is not that easy. It takes courage, as huge as a mountain, a heart, as big as an ocean. No, it’s not every man’s cup of tea.  It is like, to walk barefoot on burning coal, without even a single sight of pain, to drink bitter poison with a genuine smile and never say a word about it’s taste. Fellows, I repeat “It is not that easy”. And on the other hand, what is dam easy is the opposite of it. 

But why?  Why should you choose the difficult? Why should you forgive the person who may have hurt you? Why should you be so generous? Why should not you take revenge? Why not? The answer is not that simple and the understanding of it, extremely complicated.

 Forgiveness is not just a charity. You are not doing a favour just on the other person. One basically relieves one’s own heart and mind from the flames of revenge. It is a favour on one’s own self. Remember it is not for him / her or them. It is for you. As mentioned in Quran ….“But whoever pardons and makes reconciliation – his reward is [due] from Allah” (Surat Ash-Shura: 40). It is all there for a reason; however, not many people understand it.

Taking revenge or displaying anger and aggression may relieve a person temporarily, but it may give him the everlasting pain and uneasiness. Forgiveness is like having mercy on one’s own self. So instead of burning in the flames of revenge, why should not we relieve our own selves from the burdens of bitter past?

You know what, human psyche is funny. People don’t blame themselves for their wrongfulness, don’t consider themselves guilty. All of us have logic for our actions and beliefs. Even if it may be a false logic, but all human beings on earth do persuade their hearts and minds with logic and reason for their acts. Now if we want to change a person, his/her beliefs and behaviour, how can we do that by blaming him/her, by revenge or by punishment? The key is not punishment or revenge but forgiveness. Not many criminals have been rehabilitated by punishment. Punishment gives no chance to a person to modify him/her self.  Instead it may radicalise them and push them further away. So why should we push a door which says “Pull”.

But the bitter truth is that most of us don’t realise the blessing of forgiveness in our entire lives. We keep ruining our own lives by holding grudges, having hatred and taking revenge. Many satanic traits do come in the way of forgiveness, like ego, pride, cruelty, vengefulness etc. However, believe it or not, such things backfire; they all ruin a person’s life. They are the causes of every human conflict and suffering and create a vicious circle which fuels violence and conflict on its own.

All of us love our own selves and when someone hurts us, our emotions take the better of us and we tend to view the situation with a tunnel vision. Thoughts like “I was never wrong, how that person could do such a nasty thing to me?” “I will teach him/her a lesson” I will ruin his/her entire life”, do come to a person’s mind. It is human nature.  But such thoughts and if converted into actions may only ease one’s chest, temporarily, off course, but are never going to solve the problem. The vicious circle of hurt and counter hurt will take you down. It will take down in the dark ‘Dead Sea’ and you will never ever see the light again.  It is said “if you focus on the problem, how you can see the solution.” So if we focus on the act of hurt and the person who may have hurt us, how can we focus on forgiveness and the experience of it? 

However forgiveness is a road less travelled. Not many people walk on it and experience a different world, a world of peace, bliss and tranquillity. Though man has a free will and free choice and who am I to judge you or advice you.  I don’t even want you to subscribe to my views. I just wrote this piece, to pass on to you, something I have just learned with a very rare experience. You have every right to discard all what I have expressed. But dear fellows, just once, only once, at least for the sake of experimentation, give “Forgiveness” a try.

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