Understanding relationships, understanding humans

Human beings the most complex creature bestowed with intelligence, sophisticated communication, muscular impel, locomotion, reasoning, inherent spirituality and so on. Human beings learned to live in groups and communities so as to cater to their needs of survival and security. The reasons may be different for every individual in a community but the universality of such phenomenon is that groups and communities provide security against various risks like theft, fire, natural calamities, economic shocks, epidemics, wars, political instability etc. But a question arises how does people comes into close contact with the other section of population to form groups and society with the same objective. It’s the Relationship that helps people connect themselves with other people. Every single day we come into closer contact with other people and we seldom quote of having relationships with such persons. There is a proper phase in relationships it has its beginning as well as ending. Sometimes we take a second of knowing each other while in other cases it stretches to extreme. Relationships are not confined at individual level it extends to groups, national level, international level and official level.

Do we need relationships?

Yes, we all come into closer contact with other persons for a number of reasons. Mother and father are the primary involuntary relationship that exists since birth. Siblings, cousins, uncles, aunts and neighbors also take its course. That’s why birthday parties have existed in the west where the child is made aware of his relationships to other people so as to have social recognition in the society. The child begins his school-life in an educational institution where he is entitled to various relations – principal, teachers, friends, peer groups, other staff members etc. this journey continues to his college. After education he gets recruited and also forms relations with his employer, colleague, conference friends, and other staff members. Also he is held in wedlock to continue his social journey.

As Pluto rightly said, “Man is a social animal” Man cannot live in isolation, he is dependent on other fellow beings for various reasons. He is dependent on parents when is child, dependent on parents, teachers, elders, friends for guidance and knowledge, dependent for help. He needs friends and peers who can help him listen him during harsh and difficult times.

• Ask a child who missed his class, how can he repair the loss

• Ask a child who lost his parents in accident or the other reason

• Ask a child who has no formal schooling

• Ask a child who has one meal a day with no shelter.

• Ask a child who has impaired social sharing

• Ask a child who needs to be heard

• Ask a man who has money but no parents to spend on

• Ask a child whose ideas are mocked

• Ask a person who doesn’t have any best friend.

• Ask a child whose freedom lies inside the four walls

• Ask an old-man looking for a social support

• Ask a person with no audience for his jokes/talent.

• Ask an unfaithful wife who disobeys/deceives her husband or vice-versa

• Ask a sick person whose illness is chronic.

• Ask a woman was beaten by her alcoholic husband.

• Ask a child who has escaped from the daily violence of the parents

• Ask a child who cannot bear the separation of his parents by divorce.

There may be various other reasons beyond the above few lists. But the objective is same that we are dependent on other human beings for a variety of needs. In fact we often are calculative in relations and perceive that he she is ‘means’. It is the needs that connect us to other human beings, if there would have no needs within human beings than there would have no relationships. It is the needs that bring a person closer to the other human beings. But t doesn’t stop here, needs may the ice-breaking between the persons it is followed by conversation or activities which brings them closer and both of them are aware of others and finally they conclude whether to stay intact or to leave.

What spoils relationships?

 Human beings form relationships for a variety of reasons, some last for short time while some continues. Day by day new situations making relationships tougher and sometimes if anyone fails to come to the expectation level it doesn’t last long. Different relationships give different taste and feelings and at the end we all evaluate our relationships.

A child who is an average student in a class who doesn’t perform homework often remarked ‘careless’ and refrains from extra co-curricular activities. But one day he performs best to his ability and secures top most position, all his classmates are in wonder how he made it through and he doesn’t bother their silence. But what is painful for him is the silence of his best friend who didn’t showed up and acknowledged his hard work leaving him secluded.  – JEALOUSY

There were two friends who intended to form a sports group and started to collect money from the other friends to buy sports equipment. All of them decided to buy equipment of good quality. The two friends took money from all participants and went to buy sports equipment. But they bought cheap equipment, and spend the rest of money on enjoyment. When the participants saw the cheap equipment it brought anger among them and started to beat the two friends. (Deception/Anger)

Socialization is an important process which is imparted to the children by parents. Parents who make their children like friends turn up to be a healthy process while there are some other parents who are authoritative in nature. Sometimes, if the children want to perform their interesting activity like choosing their career which is obstructed by the authoritative parenting and thus he/she is frustrated and as a result such children do not share their feelings. (Fear)

Various other include:

• Abusive, Annoyed• Anxious• Obsessed• Panicked• Detached• Impatient• Judgmental• Vengeance, Relationship pathology

1) Sociological

a) Alcoholism. b) Environmental issues in India.c) Crime in India. d) Indian caste system. e) Labor relations in India. f) Poverty in India. g) Superstition. h) Violence. i) Farmers’ suicide in India. j) Female feticide and female infanticide in India. k) Prostitution. l) Late marriages. m) Dowry.n) Disability and social stigma thereof.o) Social status.

2) Economic

a) Business failures. b) Corporate crime.c) Corruption.d) Debt. e) Economic crises f) Economic disasters g) Economic inequality. h) Inflation. i) Market failure. j) Offshoring. k) Recession. l) Unemployment. m) Bankruptcy.

3) Psychological:

a) Anxiety. b) Dissociative disorders. c) Feeding and eating disorders.d) Neurocognitive disorders. e) Neurodevelopmental disorders. f) Sleep wake disorders. g) Substance related disorders. h) Trauma and stress related disorders.

 How to overcome relationship barriers

We all come from certain situations in which we react differently to the other people depending upon the current state of our mind and as a result of such behavior our relationships also gets affected and later we repent for such act. What we need is to bring a change in our self so that such behavior is not repeated and learn to improve our knowledge so as to adapt to the changes of the environment. If people remain same then it affects their relationships badly and the individual loses his/her relationship privileges. There are various ways to overcome such relationship issues depending upon the nature, intensity, period of the relationships which are:

Talking with family members. • Talking with friends and peer groups if any. • Attending Counseling sessions. • Working on self. • Visit to psychiatrist/therapist if needed. • Reading, listening about new topics and forming reasoning and critical understanding. • Forming treatment and target groups. • Participation in debates, seminars and various other activities according to the interest of the participants aimed at social, cognitive, emotional spiritual and psychological development.

[email protected]

Be Part of Quality Journalism

Quality journalism takes a lot of time, money and hard work to produce and despite all the hardships we still do it. Our reporters and editors are working overtime in Kashmir and beyond to cover what you care about, break big stories, and expose injustices that can change lives. Today more people are reading Kashmir Observer than ever, but only a handful are paying while advertising revenues are falling fast.



Observer News Service

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.